A lot of people get embarrassed and do NOT do things that they kind of want to do, but are embarrassed to do.
So what is embarrassment? Fear of being judged “badly” by someone else. Fear that someone else will think of you in a way you do not want to be thought of.
Now, this is not new for many people. The how to of getting out of this trap is the part many have not figured out.
So how do you get rid of your embarrassment? You quit judging others.
Now I know to many, this is a very in your face statement. Many will want to say, they are not judging others, they are just observing how they are.
But ther reason you have a fear of how others might judge you, is because you know unconsciously you are judging others, and are fearful they are doing the same to you.
You look at someone complaining in line and say, man is he an angry person. Well, actually, you don’t know that. You are judging how he is. Maybe they are on a date and the place is not making the experience they want, and they are just trrying to be romantic. Maybe they are broke and have 5 kids and need the money to feed their kids. Maybe they...
Just because they are complaining, doesn’t mean anything.
And when you do something, your are unconsciously fearful other people are going to be doing that to you.
There are a few ways out of this trap.
- Be loving and forgiving of all people and everything they do (Not being judging)
- Realize that people will rarely judge you in the “bad” way you are trying to avoid being judged
- Just accept that everything just is. There is no way it should or shouldn’t be, it just is.
The first way can easily done by doing the course in miracles. It is a book that takes about 5-15 minutes a day and you read 1 lesson a day. You can do the same lesson for more than one day, but no more than 1 a day.
What you do is form a habit of being loving and forgiving. You have formed a have of being judgmental, so now you must undo that habit and form a new one.
The second option:
Some people do not want to be judges as X, and so they life their life to avoid being judged as X. And since they are living their life to avoid being judged as X, they will rarely be judged as that.
For example. Some people do not want to be judged as stupid. So they will get PHD’s and become doctors and lawyers, so that no one ever judges them as stupid. They will never do anything that they think someone might judge them as stupid for doing that.
This person will not care if they are judged as something unrelated to stupid, like fat. So they may be judged in all sorts of other ways, but not as stupid.
Someone else might never want to be judged as fat, but stupid, they could care less.
So the freedom comes in realizing that how you fear being judged, will not happen. And that people will judge you in other ways you don’t even care about. So let it all go and just do what you want.
The third way.
Realizing everything just is.
We add all meaning to everything that happens in our life. We add the judgments, we add the right and wrong. There is no inherent right or wrong, good or bad, we create it.
So when you realize that life just is, there is no story, no good or bad, that it all just is, you give up caring what other people thingk. Because people will think what they want to think. And there is nothing you can do about it.
I mean, have you ever tried to change someones mind? Even if you have all the facts in the world, you have a really hard time changing someone’s mind. |
